Whitechurch Durham

Food ✪✪✪✪
Ambience ✪✪✪✪
Service ✪✪✪

29 Church Street Head
Durham
DH1 3DN

0191 386 8897

whitechurchdurham.com

Accessibility? Yes
Gluten free options? Yes 

There seems to be a bit of an imperative for new restaurant businesses to be able to offer something at all times of the day. If you have the staff, the kit and the premises to pull it off then it makes a lot of sense. Rent and rates need paying whether the doors are open or not; might as well make money from the brunchy crowd as well as those in the market for a nice dinner. Somebody dropping in for a coffee might come back next week for their birthday dinner, and so on and so forth.

Crab and Waltzer

Food ✪✪✪

Ambience ✪✪✪✪

Service ✪✪✪✪

5-7 Marine Avenue

Whitley Bay

NE26 1LX

0191 251 9555

facebook.com/crabandwaltzer

Accessibility? Yes

Gluten free? Yes

The literalist in me was delighted to find that Crab and Waltzer, on the seafront in Whitley Bay, isn’t named because of some flight of whimsy on behalf of the proprietors but as a reference to things which can actually be found within its walls. If you are so minded, and manage to grab the relevant table, you will indeed be able to sit in one of the cars from an old waltzer. And, once thus seated, you will be able to order dishes containing crab. If you’ve always wanted to eat crab in a waltzer, well, this is clearly the restaurant for you. You should probably stop reading now and book a table. But for those of us with less niche tastes, this is also a place that does a few other things rather well too.

Violets (Dinner menu)

Food ✪✪✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 

5-7 Side 
Quayside 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE1 3JE 

www.violetscafe.co.uk 
Accessibility? No 
Gluten free? Yes 

If you can grab it, the window table on the lower floor of Abbie and Kenny Atkinson's Violets Café affords some of the most startling and evocative views that Newcastle has to offer. I’m not talking about the many architectural glories of the Quayside, nor even of the steel and granite heft of the Tyne Bridge itself, although these are both visible from that perch. No, I’m referring to a rather more sociological vision. And, now that Violets is open into the booze-filled evenings, it’s even wilder than it used to be.

Kimchi Planet/Proven Goods

Kimchi Planet 

Food ✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪ 

24 Wretham Place 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE2 1XU 

07366 066546 
www.facebook.com/kimchiplanet 

Accessibility? No 
Gluten free? Limited 

Proven Goods 

Food ✪✪✪ 

Ambience ✪✪✪ 

Service ✪✪✪ 

Hoults Yard

Walker Road

 Newcastle upon Tyne

NE6 2HL

No phone number

www.facebook.com/provengoodsco

Accessibility? N/A

 Gluten free? GF doughnuts

Here’s how it was meant to go: Mrs Diner and I would take advantage of a rare free afternoon together to visit a couple of plucky upstart independent food businesses which had recently found permanent sites. I’d make some tired observations about how neither offered the level of comfort to which we - crashing snobs both - are accustomed to, but hey, who cares because the revelatory quality of their product and the sheer force of personality behind their ventures won us over completely. Hurrah! 5 stars! We’d go home, I’d bash out a thousand or so words about how chains are awful, independents are brilliant, proclaim it spiffing that there are so many in Newcastle, and everyone would be happy. Well, it didn’t quite go like that.

Wolfmann’s Eating House

Food ✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 

9A Stanhope Parade 
South Shields 
Tyne & Wear
NE33 4BA 

07714 525784 
www.facebook.com/WolfmannsEatingHouse 

The phrase “hidden gem”, is a double-edged sword. One of the joys of being The Secret Diner is to be able tip you the wink about unassuming but excellent places off the beaten track; however, doing so brings more than a frisson of guilt for those who thought they had these secret haunts all to themselves. 

So, if you have a favourite seat at Wolfmann’s Eating House in South Shields - and there are only about eighteen to choose from - then I’m sorry for what follows (you can blame Phil Dixon, who originally emailed me about it). This really is a cracking little place, with charm to burn and a well-cooked menu of unusually fun Asiana that deserves to find a wider audience.

Kiln

Food ✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 

Unit 4 
Hume Street 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE6 1LN 

0794 956 5013 
www.kiln.cafe 

Accessibility? No 
Gluten free? Yes 

As the years skid past, painting my hair in ever lighter tones of grey, I become increasingly aware that I must be losing any credibility I may have had in the past to pronounce on what is, or isn't, cool. Unless, of course grey hair itself is cool (Lord knows, fashion is so daft that it might be), in which case I’m getting cooler by the minute. 

Anyway, forgetting how uncool I really am: every now and then I find myself somewhere in Newcastle that is so clearly, unambiguously cool (or hot, as I used to say back in the day) that it might as well be in Dalston, Kreuzberg, Williamsburg or wherever. It fills me with no little civic pride to note that Newcastle is able to see such places survive and maybe even thrive. And, usually, they’re in the Ouseburn. 

Whether it’s Anna Hedworth’s soon-to-be-moved-to-larger-premises Cookhouse, the ever-dependable Ernest, The Ship Inn with its riotously bright, tasty vegan food or any one of a few first-rate boozers, there is more good food and drink per square metre in Ouseburn - and always at wallet-friendly prices - than anywhere else I can think of outside the city centre. To this list you can now add the subject of today’s review: Kiln.

Kracklin

Food ✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪ 

1 Market Street 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE1 6JE 

0191 340 0320 
www.kracklin.co.uk 

Accessibility? No 
Gluten free? Yes 

Here’s the thing: if this were a review of just one sandwich, it’d be pretty damn positive. I have friendly things to say about that sandwich. I enjoyed it. We got on just fine. Hang around, and I'll tell you all about it. 

But I don’t review sandwiches, I review restaurants, which means I ordered a bunch of other stuff besides. And some of that stuff wasn't so great. Sadly, the rules are that I have to tell you about those too. 

I don't think it's unfair. Kracklin, on Market Street, may be a sandwich shop. Or, to use their description, a “roast joint”. But its website also calls it a restaurant with a "lovely, recently refurbished dining area and a full bar menu...the ideal spot for a long lunch and chat with friends".

Elder and Wolf

Food ✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪ 

171 Whitley Road 
Whitley Bay 
Tyne and Wear
NE26 2DN 

07599 833 611 

Accessibility? Yes 
Gluten free? Yes
www.elderandwolf.com 

How many good restaurants does it take to make a scene? Definitely more than one, but where’s the tipping point? How do we know when a critical scene-defining mass has been achieved?  So, I’m calling it. It’s official: Whitley Bay has got itself a proper restaurant scene. 

The grim stag and hen sessions that used to besmirch its streets are largely a thing of the past and in their place have sprung up an interesting range of food and drink businesses, places like Hinnies, The Roxburgh and Omni (yeah yeah, I know, Omni is actually in Monkseaton). Incidentally, it’s worth noting that The Roxburgh has now reinvented itself as a proper evening restaurant, rather than the casual but fabulous dog-filled café I first discovered. This means it justifies another Secret Diner visit – I hope the food will be just as good as my earlier experience. 

Elder and Wolf, open for about a year now, is a very nice place to eat, although not quite on the same level as its aforementioned neighbours on account of one troublesome issue: its bread. You see, pretty much their whole menu consists of things being served on, in, or near some form of flatbread.

Meet & Treat

Food ✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 

41 Bath Lane 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE4 5SP 

0191 261 0636 
www.meetandtreat.weebly.com 

Accessibility? Yes 
Gluten free? Yes 

Not so long ago there was a time when eating Asian food in Newcastle meant a trip to Stowell Street for baskets of prawn crackers, candle-powered dish-warmers (don’t touch, kids!) and bright orange or muddy brown sauces. 

Part of me misses the bland, sugary gloop of this strange, anglicised version of Cantonese cooking, as it’s the taste of innumerable childhood family celebrations, and who could forget the shock arrival of a platter of sizzling beef or the first taste of deep-fried ice cream. 

But of course the foodie in me is thrilled by the recent explosion of Asian restaurants in the city that try, with some success, to bring us the flavours of Chiang Mai, Georgetown or Chengdu. Inoodle, La Yuan, Thai House Café, Osaka and the recently re-located Chilli Padi are all well worth a look. And now there’s another, with the sweetly named Meet & Treat.

Little Italy [CLOSED]

Food ✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 

Unit 12-13 
Grainger Market 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE1 5QG 

07783 858 033 
www.facebook.com/abrootsolimited 
Accessibility? Yes
Gluten free? Yes 

[Oh no - I see Little Italy is closed and shuttered (see picture below).  Here, for the memory, is my review from 2017].

I remember a time, and perhaps you do too, when the Grainger Market was far from being a gastronaut’s delight. Now it’s an essential destination on Newcastle’s foodie map. When Mmm… opened in 2008, selling posh olive oils and precociously tasty condiments, I feared that they were too far ahead of the curve and would never last. As it turns out, I was bang wrong and they were in fact just the vanguard of a whole brigade of food start-ups that would take advantage of the central location and reasonable rents offered by this fabulous Regency-era covered market. 

A couple of years ago I reviewed many of the excellent street-food vendors who have made the place their home, but recently I felt had to return just to check out what I reckon is probably the market’s first fully fledged restaurant - plates, wine, proper service, that sort of thing. I’d heard that simple Italian food was being done very well. I’d heard right.

Omni Café

Food ✪✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 

12 Front Street 
Monkseaton
Whitley Bay
Tyne & Wear
NE25 8DF 

0191 251 2819 
www.facebook.com/omnionthecorner 

Accessibility? Yes-ish. 
Gluten free? Yes 

Sometimes you just know everything’s going to be fine even as the front door clicks shut behind you and you scan the room for the first time. It’s a nice feeling. There are enough reasons to fret in these troubled times without the quality of one’s dinner being added to the list. 

As we left a sullen late winter night outside and stepped into the warm, spice-scented fug of Omni, I knew we were onto a good thing. The fact that at 6.30 on a Wednesday evening we only just managed to snare the last table for two was a strong hint. The warm welcome, the lovely decor and the chatty buzz made by people who are really enjoying themselves, all confirmed that this is a place where they really know what they’re about. And what they are about, in the evenings at least, is Asian tapas.

The Running Fox

Food ✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 

2-4 Riverside 
Felton 
Morpeth 
Northumberland
NE65 9EA 

01670 787 090 
www.runningfoxbakery.co.uk 

Accessibility? Yes 
Gluten free? Yes 

This site has been a bit light on cafés in recent months. Truth be told, I’d take a starter over a dessert any day of the week. While I can admire the science and skill that lies behind a perfect risen sponge or a cunningly crafted mille-feuille, they don’t excite me half as much as a properly reduced sauce or a bit of glassy crackling. 

What’s more - and I realise that some of you might consider this heresy – I don’t really get “afternoon tea”. It’s not a meal; just a bunch of disparate bits and bobs, served on a cutesy stand. I’m not into cutesy, whimsy or dainty. Give me heft, depth and a decent glass of red every time. 

So what enticed me to the Running Fox, a self-confessed café, on a startlingly bright Saturday afternoon?

Al Buco (CLOSED)

Food ✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪✪ 

4 Eldon Square 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE1 7JG 

0191 261 6646
facebook.com/albuconcl 
Accessibility? No 
Gluten free? Yes 

On a wet early winter afternoon, as the Christmas shoppers were turning their collars up in defiance of the elements, Old Eldon Square could hardly have felt less Italian. And yet, down just a few steps, and with one greedy forkful of pasta, I was whisked straight off to Bari, deep in the warmth of Italy’s heel. Such is the magic of good food.

Starks Kitchen

Food ✪✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪✪ 

205-207 Chillingham Road 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE6 5LJ 

0191 265 8436 
www.starkskitchen.co.uk 

Some restaurants appear to have been given just the right name. The one that previously occupied this little chunk of Heaton’s Chillingham Road was called Cal’s Own. 

Not only did it produce the North’s finest pizzas (including a calzone, I guess), it was also owned by Cal. Or Calvin Kitchin, as he’s actually called. 

In February Mr Kitchin upped sticks to lucky Jesmond or, to be precise, upped logs, for he’s acquired the world’s best pizza oven, a wood-fired handmade Stefano Ferrara, in which he now produces even more authentic Neapolitan pizzas.  

The new Cal’s Own is within a San Marzano tomato (DOP) of getting itself accredited by the Associazone Verace Pizza Napoletana, which is a very big thing in the pizza world.  If you live in Jesmond and you’re not a regular, you’re either mad or on a diet. 

Now the old Heaton joint has become Starks Kitchen. Apparently there isn’t a Mr or Mrs Stark (the owners are Game of Thrones fans) but the name certainly describes the feel of its interior. For anyone who used to make the pilgrimage here for pizza, the decor is a bit like the big reveal in an interior design programme: it’s very different, and, well... stark.

Violets

Food ✪✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 

5-7 Side 
Quayside 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE1 3JE 

www.violetscafe.co.uk 

Depending on when the 2017 guide gets leaked, Kenny Atkinson should find out in a few days whether his restaurant House of Tides has retained its Michelin star for another year. I fully expect it to. 

I enjoyed another stellar meal there back in June, fully justifying the 6 stars I had given it in my previous review: Lindisfarne oyster, tiny cones of chicken liver, beetroot and smoked eel meringues before the meal; scallop, halibut, 40-day aged beef and apple and blackberries during; and a big contented grin all the way home. 

House of Tides has confidently settled into its stride as Newcastle’s finest dining establishment. Long may it reign. However, it’s not all about the flagship for the Atkinson family these days. 

This summer wife Abbie opened up her own café called Violets. The word café can conjure grim visions of over-brewed tea, greasy breakfasts and paperweight scones. As you step through the door into this picture of Instagram-bait cuteness, you know you’re in for a very different experience.

Five Guys

Food ✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪ 

2-4 Northumberland Street 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE1 7DE 

The Qube 
Metrocentre 
Gateshead 
NE11 9XR 

www.fiveguys.co.uk 

Let's start with a confession: I have a slight bias against Five Guys. 

 

In another life I quite frequently had cause to visit the West Coast of the United States. California is not only the land of never-ending sunshine, it’s also the home of the In-N-Out burger, possibly the most delicious (and evil) fast food known to man. 

Their “Double-Double, animal style” (two patties cooked in mustard, with the sweetest caramelised onions, cheese and a secret Thousand Island-type sauce, freshly cooked and served in a ‘drive-thru’ for less than $5), could be the most significant culinary achievement of the Golden State, greater even than iceberg lettuce or The French Laundry. Well, maybe not The French Laundry. 

Then Five Guys arrived, an infiltrator from the East Coast, and so began the famous California burger wars. Five Guys were twice the price, but you chose your own fillings.  They quickly became a kind of cult, attracting the hipsters and the showy; meanwhile good old In-N-Out stayed there with just three items on the menu: burger, cheeseburger or the Double-Double. 

Trump versus Clinton had nothing on this: it was cultural, and it was personal. Arguments raged within families and friendships about which burger joint was better. It was like that time Oasis and Blur released singles in the same week. This was war. 

I was always a purist. For me, nothing beats the animal style of In-N-Out. I can’t wait for them to come to England. Except they won’t. 

In-N-Out is a family business, pledging never to franchise their soul or their amazing burgers. So they’ve stayed small and West Coast – they haven’t even reached New York yet. Whereas the Five Guys quickly became two thousand. Until eventually they invaded the UK. 

Finally, they’ve reached the North East. So, trying to suppress old prejudices, I felt I had to give them a chance.

Mog On The Tyne/CatPawCino Cat Cafés

Mog on the Tyne 
Food ✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪ 
Cats ✪✪✪✪ 

24 Pudding Chare 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE1 1UE 
07470 262 685 
www.mogonthetyne.com 


CatPawCino 
Food ✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪ 
Cats ✪✪✪✪ 

77 Quayside 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE1 3DE 
0191 903 5085 

www.catpawcino.com 

"Whatever happened to that “Dare the Diner” competition?” asked Mrs Diner one February morning. 

I buried my head in my Journal, pretending not to hear. 

“Mmm..?” 

“You remember, it was Christmas, and you asked your readers to vote for an unlikely place for you to review in 2016. There were all those terrible takeaways and burger joints. And those cat cafés.” 

The look of terror must have given it away. My wife knows me too well. 

“Oh, so that’s why you didn’t mention it — the cats won!” 

I nodded sadly: “By a landslide.”

“Fantastic. I can’t wait to go.” 

It’s alright for her: she adores the creatures. For me, I just have to look at one and my nose starts to twitch and my eyes water. I’m allergic to cats. Badly.

Cook House

Food ✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪ 

20 Ouse Street 
Ouseburn 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
NE1 2PF 

No telephone number – no bookings 
www.cookhouse.org 

It’s not easy to define good taste, but we all like to think we know it when we see it. 

There is of course the gnarly issue of subjectivity. I’m sure Donald Trump thinks his hairstyle is the height of fashion, whilst I, and the rest of the world, would beg to differ. Time is another factor. Not so ago that it was considered just the thing to squiggle balsamic glaze over any food in sight; now, not so much. Not that many of our region’s chefs have realised it yet.

Colmans

Food ✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪ 

176-186 Ocean Road 
South Shields
Tyne & Wear
NE33 2JQ 

0191 456 1202 
www.colmansfishandchips.com
Daily 11am - 6pm only

1977 was a momentous year for South Shields. Not only did the Queen pop in during her Silver Jubilee tour, but the following month the King came too: Mohammed Ali was somehow persuaded by a local painter and decorator from Whitburn to make the trip from the United States to support his local boys’ clubs. 

There’s a lovely documentary called “The King of South Shields”, made by Bridge+Tunnel Productions, which documents the effect that Ali’s visit had on the town, particularly on the local Yemeni community after he had his marriage blessed in the local Al-Ahzar mosque. 

In the film you can see the crowds thronging the open topped bus as Ali glides down Ocean Road past Colmans fish and chips. 

I’ve always liked to think that Ali might have been momentarily distracted by the wonderful smell of frying and popped in for a catch of the day. “No visit to North East England is complete without tasting Colmans fish” says their website. So Ali missed a treat, and the Queen did too, but the walls of Colmans are covered with photographs of other celebrities who made it past the water sculpture and into the white-tiled inner sanctum.

Baba Yaga

Food ✪✪✪ 
Service ✪✪✪✪ 
Ambience ✪✪✪✪ 

70 Adelaide Terrace 
Benwell 
Newcastle upon Tyne
NE4 9JN

07739 068173 

Note: no credit cards at present 

Tomorrow there’ll be no Father’s Day celebrations in Warsaw. That’s because Polish Dads get their special day on Tuesday, two days after the rest of the world. 

I have no idea why this is, but I’m pretty sure it means there won’t be any spare tables in Baba Yaga come Tuesday night. It’s Newcastle’s newest, and only, Polish restaurant.